


my North, my South, my East and West, my Winter Soldier

by Candyfairey



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-06 15:09:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1862391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candyfairey/pseuds/Candyfairey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set right after CA: TWS. After a young woman finds Bucky Barnes and decides to take care of him, Fury and Steve both agree that he needs to get back to himself instead of bringing him immediately into S.H.I.E.L.D. Along the way Kenzie and Bucky fall in love but it isn't easy with their pasts as well as present things trying to keep them apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This is my second fic in the Marvel universe. I was inspired to write it after seeing The Winter Soldier. Enjoy!  
> Playlist:  
> The Bird and the Bee-All Our Endless Love
> 
> Disclaimer for entire fic: I own nothing except my OC.

Kenzie woke up in the middle of the night to Bucky groaning in his sleep.  
“Bucky, Bucky wake up,” she reached over and shook him lightly. “Bucky.”  
She shrieked when he woke, swinging his fist at her and moving on top of her.  
His metal hand wrapped around her throat and her eyes went wide.  
“Bu…Bu…..ky…” she croaked, pulling at his metal arm with both hands as hard as she could.  
Her breath completely cut off, her vision began to blur and tears leaked from her eyes.  
No, he had to snap out of it. He’d never forgive himself. After everything they’d dealt with so far this couldn’t happen. She tried to smack at his face to get him to snap out of it but her arms just stayed by her side as her vision went black.


	2. Chapter 1 Bad Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist:  
> Bad Company-Bad Company  
> Silicon-Brooklyn Sound  
> Credence Clearwater Revival-Bad Moon Rising

Mackenzie Clare had just returned home. She’d recently moved to just outside downtown Washington D.C. It was late. She’d been working hard since she was about to open a book store/café in town. She’d been unpacking and going over inventory all day, as well as looking over numerous applications. Kenzie couldn’t wait to get home, eat something, shower and go to bed. Tomorrow was Sunday and she took Sunday’s off.  
After parking in her driveway she grabbed her purse from her car, hearing the beep as she locked it with her key and unlocked her door.  
Stepping inside she immediately felt something wasn’t right. No, it couldn’t be, she thought, her heart starting to race.  
She carefully walked to the living room, being careful not to trip over the boxes of her stuff and things that had yet to be unpacked.  
She flipped a light switch turning on the main overhead light in the room. She gasped when she saw a man out cold on her couch. He was clad in black and looked dirty and sweaty.  
She stepped closer, her eyebrows knitting together when she saw what looked like a metal arm.  
This man looked dangerous. He had bad company written all over him.  
Kenzie wondered for a minute if she should call the police, or at the state of this man, an ambulance.  
She stepped back and pulled her cell out of her purse. As she was dialing 911 the phone was suddenly ripped from her grasp and she shrieked, jumping back.  
She looked to the now very much awake man standing in front her, who was currently crushing her phone to bits in his metal hand.  
“Hey! Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house!” she yelled at him. If this guy planned on hurting her she wasn’t going down without a fight. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for anything that she could defend herself with.  
The guy just stood there, staring at her. She wanted to look away but she fought against it, she had to show him that she wasn’t going to back down.  
He looked at the woman before him. He noted her collarbone length mousy brown hair and rare violet eyes. She had a button nose that was covered in hundreds of freckles. She was also scared.  
He had no idea who lived there but judging by the feminine things in the house and one bedroom he judged that only one person, a female, lived there.  
After he left Steve Rogers on that riverbank he took off. He needed a place to hide, from Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D., somewhere to put his thoughts together and figure everything out.  
After what felt like hours he stumbled upon this house. Tired and dehydrated he easily broke in through the back door. After drinking a copious amount of water and eating some fried rice he found in the fridge in some funky white box with a handle, what was that?, he passed out on the couch.  
“I’m not going to hurt you. I need a place to stay for a bit,” he told her calmly.  
“What? Are you like a convict or something!? No, you can’t stay here,” she said, backing up more.  
“Please, I won’t hurt you, I promise.”  
“You broke into my house and you expect me to think you won’t hurt me?” She backed up into an end table. She picked up the small glass lamp from it and lunged, swinging it at his head.  
He ducked from it easily; taking it from her grasp and setting it back down. He grabbed her and pushed her against the wall.  
“Look, you’re in danger now that I’m here. Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D. are no doubt looking for me already. If they trace me to you S.H.I.E.L.D. would definitely take you in for questioning but I highly doubt Hydra would be so gracious.”  
“What do you mean? I thought S.H.I.E.L.D. was just labeled as a terrorist organization. I heard it on the radio earlier. I thought they were the good guys.”  
“Hydra would more than likely torture you for information. S.H.I.E.L.D. are the good guys, well sort of. Members of Hydra infiltrated them to take over.”  
“That’s what’s been going on today!? So that was your plan? Sneak into someone’s house, purposely putting someone in danger so they would have no choice but to let you stay? Do you realize how selfish that is!?”  
He simply nodded. She didn’t want to trust him but something in her gut told her she should. She stared at him, as his face was inches from hers. She noticed for the first time how handsome he was. He hadn’t talked like a bad guy, like he would hurt her. She doubted that if she told him he couldn’t stay that he’d even listen and judging by the grip he had on her arms he was much stronger than her; no way would she be able to fight him.  
She swallowed hard. “Okay. Fine you can stay here. By the way you were just talking if Hydra or S.H.I.E.L.D. comes you’ll protect me if needed?”  
“Yes, I will, as payment for allowing me to stay here.”  
She nodded. “Okay. Um, can you let me go now?”  
He jerked away, as if remembering he had her pinned against the wall.  
“Um,” what the hell? she thought. She seriously had no idea what to do. Her day had gone from normal, well almost with all that stuff happening that was being reported on the news, to nuts.  
“Um you could use a shower.” She quickly added “No offense.”  
He looked just as lost and uncomfortable as she did.  
“Bathroom’s through there,” she said pointing to her bedroom.  
She walked to a linen closet and the hall and brought him a towel and washcloth. He took them slowly.  
“Are you hungry?” she asked.  
He shook his head.  
“Are you sure, you don’t look too good.”  
“I’m fine,” he replied, turning and heading to the bathroom.  
When he disappeared she went to fix herself a bowl of cereal. She was sitting at the table eating, lost in her thoughts about the recent events when he came back into the room.  
She almost choked on her bite of cereal when she saw him, standing there in nothing but a towel that was wrapped around his waist. A few stray drops of water dripped from his hair and down his chiseled chest. When she realized her mouth was literally open she flushed and looked back at her food.  
He suppressed a small smile at having caused the young lady to blush before speaking. “Um, I don’t have any clean clothes.”  
“Right,” she said, getting up and putting her bowl and spoon in the sink.  
She headed to the bathroom where she collected the outfit he was wearing earlier. He watched as she came back out and put it in the washing machine in the small laundry room.  
“It’ll probably be an hour or so till your clothes are dry. I can get you some tomorrow in town.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Um,” she pursed her lips. “You’re really too big for the couch so you can take my bed, I’ll take the couch.”  
“No.”  
“What?”  
“I can’t put you out of your own bed.”  
“Oh, yeah because it’s not like you’re causing me any trouble as it is.”  
“You agreed.”  
“I know, I know. It’s just, this is nuts!” she yelled before putting her head in her hands and shaking it back and forth.  
“I’m…Bucky Barnes by the way,” he said, holding out his hand.  
She looked at him. “It’s a bit late to be shaking hands don’t you think? I’m Mackenzie Clare,” she said cautiously shaking his hand.  
She stayed up long enough to put his clothes in the dryer. She sat on the couch, trying to go over some applications but she kept glancing at him as he sat on the other end, still in his towel and watching her. Finally she gave up and told him that when the dryer buzzed his clothes were done and he could take them out.  
He nodded and watched as she went to her room and shut the door, hearing it lock behind her. She took a quick shower and went to bed.


	3. Everyone Needs a Little Protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist:  
> The National-Lemon World  
> Bing Crosby-As Time Goes By  
> The Andrew Sisters-Straighten Up and Fly Right, Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree, Rum and Coca Cola, Shoo Shoo Baby  
> Bon Iver-Holocene  
> Warning: This chapter may be a trigger because of descriptions of past abuse.

The next morning Kenzie woke up late, all events from the night before coming back to light.  
She fell back in bed, groaning, what the hell had she agreed to?  
After brushing her teeth she quickly dressed, pulling on a pair of skinny jeans that had a few purposely destructed holes here and there on them and a The Doors band t-shirt she went to see what her new guest was up to.  
She could smell food in the air when she opened her door. She walked into the kitchen to find Bucky sliding a sunny side up egg onto a plate. He added a piece of toast and two slices of bacon to the plate before handing it to her.  
He froze, taking her right arm in his hand and lifting it up. There was a bruise from the night before on her upper arm, from his metal arm when he had her against the wall.  
“I’m sorry,” he said avoiding her gaze.  
“It’s okay. I didn’t even notice it until now.”  
He turned back to the stove.  
“Um, so you can cook?” She hated awkward silences, no matter who they were with.  
He nodded. “You sound surprised.”  
“Um yeah well you know when a random guy who just so happens to know about secret organizations and has a metal arm forcefully bunkers down in your house, that’s not something you really think about,” she said, teasing as she poured them each a glass of orange juice before sitting down. God this is weird, she thought.  
Bucky just smirked and shook his head. He sat down across from her at the small table with his own plate.  
“So I need to go into town and get you some clothes so I’ll need to measure you,” she told him.  
Obviously if he was in hiding he couldn’t go with her but she didn’t just want to guess at his sizes.  
He nodded as he soaked up some of the yolk with his toast and took a bite.  
“Thanks for breakfast,” she said, a small smile on her face.  
“You’re welcome.”  
It was the least he could do after frightening her and intruding in her home.  
“Um since I’m being so nice and letting you stay here, you wouldn’t mind unpacking a few boxes while I’m gone would you?”  
“No problem. It’s the least I can do and I’m sorry for scaring you last night.”  
Damn right he better apologize for that, she thought.  
She was eating breakfast that was made by a guy she met less than twenty-four hours ago, about to buy him some clothes. She busted out laughing and he raised a brow at her.  
“What’s so funny?”  
“Nothing, this is just…”  
“Nuts?”  
She nodded. At least they were on the same page.  
“Apology accepted,” she said remembering he had just apologized to her.  
~O.o~  
When she returned a few hours later she entered the house, hearing that he’d unpacked her record player and had turned it on, As Time Goes By by Bing Crosby was playing, her favorite.  
She entered the living room and set the bags she was carrying down on the couch. Bucky looked up from where he was sitting on the floor looking through her record collection.  
“Oh I hope you don’t mind,” he said holding up a record.  
“Not at all. That’s my favorite song actually.”  
“Mine too,” he said smiling.  
She looked around the room. There was a stack of flat boxes against the wall and not a single box left to unpack. “You unpacked everything?”  
He shrugged.  
“Huh, cooking, unpacking everything, maybe this arrangement won’t be so bad.”  
He chuckled, standing up and changing the record.  
“Okay so I got you the basics,” she explained, pulling stuff out of the bags. “Jeans, a belt, underwear, socks, white crewneck tees, two jackets, and I got a few plaid button up shirts that were on sale. If you don’t like it well tough luck buddy.”  
She watched as he inspected the blue jean jacket.  
“I also got you some toiletries: toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, razors, shaving cream, deodorant and body wash. I hope you like original Old Spice. I got a full sized air mattress and sheets for you. I figure it will be more comfortable than the couch.”  
“Thank you.”  
He said it so sincerely, looking her in the eyes in such a way that she had to fight the urge to look away. This was just too weird. She sighed, sitting down.  
“So Bucky Barnes, what’s your story?”  
“My story?”  
“Yeah, you come here looking like a character from a video game but you cook and like old music. If you’re going to stay here you have to tell me something about yourself.”  
It was his turn to sigh. She was right though. She was giving him a hell of a lot here, letting him stay here and spending money on him. He wasn’t sure how much to tell her so he figured he’d start at the beginning.  
“My full name is James Buchanan Barnes. You know who Captain America is?”  
“Of course, who doesn’t?”  
He laughed, of course. “I served with him in WWII. He was my best friend.”  
She froze. “You’re ninety-five years old!? How is that possible?”  
He chuckled, “Well not quite.”  
He definitely had her attention now if he didn’t have it before. He explained to her how in WWII he helped fight against Hydra. How he fell from the cliff and how Hydra found him, replacing his arm with the bionic one and brainwashing him to do their dirty work. He even told her all of what happened the day before.  
“So you were brainwashed? They kept you in cryogenic stasis when you weren’t needed? How could someone do that to a human being!? Those motherfuckers!”  
Kenzie was curious about him but had no idea about any of this, she hadn’t even thought of such things! Granted she had been too shocked at the events of the night before to get her thoughts straight anyway.  
Bucky looked absolutely shocked at her use of words and just stared at her, openmouthed.  
“Oh, um, you’ll get used to the bad language in this day and time. Sorry.”  
“I’ve killed a lot of people,” he said quietly after a moment.  
For a few moments it remained quiet in the room except for the music coming from the record player.  
She reached a hand out, grabbing his normal hand in hers and squeezing it.  
He looked up at her, his face slightly hidden by his curtain of hair, his eyes filled with guilt.  
“You didn’t know what you were doing. Yes you should feel sorrow, but not guilt. That’s the past. You need to try and just grieve and let it go. You can’t change the past.”  
He stared at her for a moment before breaking down into tears.  
Kenzie was shocked.  
This strong man beside her was broken. He was lost, alone and once again, broken. She was hit with a wave of determination. She’d always been a firm believer in things happening for a reason, well for the most part. Maybe Bucky had chosen her house for a reason, maybe she was meant to help heal him.  
She realized even though he was the one that offered to protect her, he needed protecting too and she scooted closer to him. She removed her hand from his and brought both of her hands up to cradle his head into the crook of her neck, moving an arm around him in comfort.


	4. Chapter 3 Everyone Has A Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist:  
> A Boy and His Kite-Cover Your Tracks  
> Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-Face Down  
> Taylor Swift-Innocent

Kenzie was rubbing soothing circles on Bucky’s scalp as he cried. After his tears dried he removed himself from her and went out on the back patio without a single word. She watched as he sat down on the chair swing.  
She went to her record player and turned it off, got a snack from the kitchen and headed to her room. She didn’t feel like doing any work today so she picked up a book and settled in to read.  
A few hours later, when she came out of her room Bucky was still sitting outside on the swing and she felt it was best to leave him alone. Kenzie arranged the knick knacks and items Bucky unpacked for her. Next, she decided the place really needed a good dusting so she spent an hour making the place as dust free as possible. After that she got a hammer and a pack of nails from her very small tool kit and hung up the few pieces of wall art she brought with her. After observing her work she noticed that Bucky was still outside and she frowned.  
She looked at the clock on the stove and it read 5:30 PM so she figured now would be a good time to start dinner. When it was finished she poked her head outside.  
“Dinner’s ready.”  
Bucky nodded and followed her inside.  
Now they sat in an awkward silence at the table.  
“It’s been a while since I’ve had alcohol,” Bucky said.  
Kenzie sighed inwardly in relief that he said something. She really wanted to know if he was okay. Maybe he was embarrassed about breaking down in front of her.  
“I keep a bottle around for when I’m in the mood,” she said deciding against voicing her questions.  
He drained his glass and poured himself some more.  
“So what’s your story?” he asked Kenzie, twirling his fork in the spaghetti on his plate.  
Kenzie blanched. “Um…”  
“Come on, I told you mine. Yours can’t be anything like mine.”  
She bit her lip. He was right; he had told her his story. He knew her about as well as she knew him. It was only fair for her to tell him, despite the painful memories it would bring up.  
“Well as you know I just moved here,” she started.  
“Where did you move from?”  
“Virginia.”  
“So not too far then.”  
“No. But this place just felt right and I’ve always loved coming here. Everyone’s so nice. Plus since all the embassies are here there’s a lot of culture too. I can spend a whole day at the museums, although I haven’t been in a few years. And the fireworks on the Fourth of July are the absolute best! One time my uncle and I drove all around, finally finding a spot on a hill behind a neighborhood with a bunch of other people. Traffic was stopped! People were sitting on top of their cars,” she laughed at the memory.  
“But the fireworks were amazing! The best I’ve ever seen! And you could hear people setting off their own fireworks at like three in the morning. This is going to sound so corny, but I guess there’s just something really…I don’t know how to say it, about seeing fireworks on the Fourth of July in the nation’s capital. Just…amazing.”  
Bucky smiled at her, taking another sip of wine. The way she lit up when she was talking was something he was glad to see. He hadn’t been around women since, well since before he left to fight in the war. It was nice to just be having dinner with a young woman, even if it wasn’t a date.  
“So that’s why you moved here? Because you love the city?”  
“Well, not completely. I recently got out of a two year relationship.” She looked away from him.  
“Ah, I see.”  
“No, you don’t.”  
Her words halted him. “What do you mean? Was it that bad of a break up?”  
“More like a bad relationship. I mean at first it was great. I really fell hard for him. He was so sweet, always buying me flowers and taking me out. Just a nice guy you know. We even met each other’s parents. But after about seven months he started to change.”  
Bucky had stopped eating, listening intently. He wasn’t sure he liked where this was going.  
“He started out having to always know where I was, who I was with. Then he started taking my phone and looking through it and he would get so angry if I had talked to a guy, even if it was a cousin. I knew he had a temper but he’d never taken it out on me before. Then, one night I went out with friends for my twenty-first birthday and when I got back home he was furious, saying I lied to him, that I wasn’t with my friends, I was with another guy. I told him he was being ridiculous and he just snapped and slapped me.”  
Bucky’s hands were in fists on the table as a few tears started to leak from her eyes.  
“Then he said he’d never do it again, that he didn’t mean it and I believed him. I thought I was in love and that if I stayed with him it would all be okay, he was just going through something, that’s all. It was a one-time thing, he promised. But sweet words changed to insults. Slaps turned into punches and hair pulling and being pushed down.”  
She still couldn’t look at Bucky, instead opting to stare at the table top as memories surfaced. This was probably best since his face was a mixture of anger and disgust. How could a guy hurt a girl like that and all the while say he loved her? Bucky wasn’t sure why he was so angry exactly, he just met Mackenzie but he promised to protect her and he really truly didn’t think her story would’ve been like this.  
“The night I ended it, I ended up in the hospital. I’d been gone for a week for Christmas, spending it with my family and he was with his family. I decided to stay a few days more and he was texting and calling me constantly, saying I was trying to leave him. When I got home the minute I walked through the door he attacked me.”  
Tears were pouring down her cheeks now.  
“He was punching me and kicking me, telling me I was a whore and a slut and he was the only one that would ever love me so much and if I tried to leave him no one else would want me and that he wouldn’t let me go anyway. The neighbors heard the screams and called the cops. They came in, seeing him on top of me. His hands were in my hair banging my head into the floor. I thought he was going to kill me.”  
She was sobbing by now and Bucky got up from his seat and picked her up in his arms. He carried her in his arms out to the chair swing on the patio that he was occupying earlier.  
She curled up in his lap, her petite frame easily nestling into his strong arms.  
He ran a hand through her hair while keeping his metal one wrapped around her. She comforted him earlier so he could do the same. Now he regretted asking her, having no idea she had dealt with something so horrible. Although he did find he could relate in a way. They both had things in their past that they were struggling with.  
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t have asked.”  
Kenzie looked up at him, wiping her eyes. “No don’t do that. I asked you about your past and you opened up to me. It was only fair that you ask me about mine and I tell you, especially since I’m technically harboring a fugitive and you’ve sworn to protect me.”  
Bucky laughed softly.  
“You look much better in this outfit by the way,” Kenzie said to him, poking a finger at his chest.  
He wore a pair of jeans and a white tee underneath one of the plaid shirts.  
He laughed. “I’ll tell my designer you send your approval.”  
She moved off his lap, settling so her head was in his lap and she was looking up at him. “Hmm, well you should really tell her to do something about that hair.”  
He feigned insult. “You don’t like my hair? I’m hurt.”  
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Liar.”  
“Actually I was thinking of asking if you could…”  
“Hook a brotha up? Sure.”  
He raised an eyebrow. “What?”  
Kenzie laughed. “Just um, nothing, I’ll pick up an electric hair clipper at the drugstore tomorrow after work.”  
“Work?” he asked.  
“Yeah I have to pay my bills somehow.”  
“Where do you work?”  
“I’m actually working on opening up my own bookstore/café in town. I’ve already hired a baker and barista and the café half is almost finished but I still have a lot of inventory to go through and put up on the shelves and I need to hire a few more people.”  
“I could come with you tomorrow, help with setting up?”  
Kenzie’s face brightened and she sat up. “That’s a great idea! Would you want to? Really?” She pursed her lips “Is that safe?”  
“Sure, you probably can’t hire me on though, since I’m hiding. I’ll just have to be disguised a bit.”  
Kenzie nodded, he was right and maybe she could hire him to work in the back. What kind of life would he have if he just stayed in her house all the time? He didn’t deserve that. They would just have to be very careful.  
“Okay, you’re hired.”  
“What?”  
“Yup, but you’ll have to work in the back with inventory and the heavy lifting since you don’t need to be seen by too many people.”  
Bucky nodded. This could work and he would need money. He couldn’t stay here forever.  
“Alright I’ll need money to help me leave anyway.”  
Kenzie felt a little panicked at that. Leave? No she didn’t like that despite that fact that they’d known each other for only a full day now although it felt more like a week with all of the emotions.  
Bucky noticed the sad look on her face. Did she not want him to go? Why would she want him around? He was dangerous, he could hurt her. He stiffened at the thought of hurting her. No he couldn’t stay here, she’d already had one crap guy in her life, and she didn’t need another.  
He looked down as she settled her head in his lap again and closed her eyes. She was soon asleep, her breathing deep and even.  
Bucky carefully picked her up and took her inside and to her room. He laid her in her bed and pulled the covers over her. She’d probably kill him if he she woke up the next morning and found he changed her into pajamas so he quickly decided against that.


	5. Chapter 4 The Soldier Dances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist:  
> The Samples-Could It Be Another Change  
> Allman Brothers Band-Ramblin’ Man  
> NR01-GhostDubsters-Ghostbusters Remix  
> Britney Spears-Toxic  
> Pharrell Williams-Happy  
> Fergie-A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got) feat. Q  
> Iron & Wine-Flightless Bird, American Mouth

The next morning on the way to Kenzie’s store she stopped first to run in to a drugstore and get a pair of electric clippers.  
Next stop Kenzie parked in front of a shoe store. Bucky was disguised in his new grey hoodie and Kenzie’s black baseball cap. Bucky ended up getting a pair of sensible dark brown loafers.  
When they entered her store Kenzie flipped on the lights and Bucky smiled. It was nice and cozy, not too small but not too big.  
“Okay,” Kenzie said, turning to face him. “Okay so those boxes over there are ready to be shelved. They’re marked on the boxes so you know what shelves they go on, Fiction, Nonfiction, Classics, Poetry, Mystery, and so on. Could you put them in alphabetical order by the author’s last name on the shelves? Most of them should already be in the correct order.”  
He nodded. “No problem.”  
She watched as he picked up a box of Young Adult books and carried them easily across the store. It must have weighed at least one-hundred pounds.  
When Kenzie realized she was staring at his arm muscles flexing she blushed. She headed to her office in the back where she hooked her iPod up to the overhead speaker system.  
She ventured back out and sat on the floor, picking up where she left off Saturday night on inventory.  
Every now and then she would glance at him. He worked quickly and efficiently, focusing on what he was doing.  
When she wasn’t looking he snuck glances at her. He noted how she bit her lip in concentration or in frustration when an order wasn’t right.  
At noon she left to go get them lunch and when she got back he just finished putting up all the books she’d inventoried so far.  
“Wow. You are so hired,” she said handing him his strawberry milkshake.  
He laughed, “Thanks.”  
While they were eating lunch a dubstep remix of the Ghostbusters theme started playing.  
“You having interesting taste in music,” he said.  
She laughed. “You mean, in a polite way, you hate my music.”  
He shook his head, “No, I guess it’s just something I have to get used to.”  
Kenzie nodded. “Yup. Wait! Oh my gosh!”  
“What?” he asked, panic in his eyes.  
“You’ve never seen Ghostbusters! Or Star Wars or Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings!”  
He just stared at her, clueless.  
“They’re movies. Oh we are so having a movie marathon tonight!”  
Bucky just shook his head in amusement.  
“So do you really think you want to work here?”  
“Yes. I do. I’ve thought about it and I can also keep a better eye on you if I come to work with you.”  
“Right because someone from Hydra or S.H.I.E.L.D. might show up?”  
He nodded.  
~O.o~  
They were back to work and Bucky still couldn’t help sneaking glances at her. She was pretty, smart, ambitious and of all things she could actually make him smile and laugh.  
He was frozen and a bit uncomfortable when he looked up and saw her dancing at the other end of the store. Toxic from Britney Spears was playing and he watched as her hips sashayed as she moved around the room, setting up the shelves of magazines, bookmarks and novelty items like Harry Potter and Hunger Games merchandise. He completely stopped what he was doing, his heart racing, when she dipped down to the ground and shimmied back up, completely lost in the song. He turned bright red and went back to work, fighting the urge to look at her again as she moved in his peripheral vision.  
“What?” she asked catching him glancing at her seconds later.  
He just shook his head and placed another book on the shelf in front of him.  
“James Buchanan Barnes, would you like to dance?”  
He quickly shook his head, once again turning bright red.  
As Pharrell William’s Happy started to play she set down the stack of magazines she was holding and walked towards him, taking both his hands in hers. She pulled him to the middle of the store.  
“Well it’s 2014 and I take it you haven’t done much dancing so here are some moves you need to know.”  
She proceeded to show him the lawnmower, the sprinkler, the peace signs across the eyes and walk like an Egyptian.  
She erupted into a fit of giggles when Teach Me How to Dougie played and she showed him the dougie and he got it on the first try.  
“No way!” she exclaimed, clapping.  
“What? Did I do it right?”  
“Yes! How did you do that! It took me forever to get it down!” she laughed and so did he.  
He grabbed her arms and pulled her in before swinging her back out.  
“I believe it’s my turn to show you some dance moves,” he said with a big grin on his face.  
She yelped when he suddenly lifted her in the air and dipped her between his legs. The song A Little Party Never Killed Nobody by Fergie played as he led her around, showing her how they used to dance in the forties. He swung her out and pulled her back in.  
When the song ended they were both breathless, Kenzie was pulled tightly against his chest. They stared at each other as they caught their breath.  
“I say we call it a day,” she said.  
He nodded in agreement as they pulled apart.  
They got a lot done today, much more than she could have done by herself in one day.  
~O.o~  
Once they were back at Kenzie’s she made some guacamole and poured some salsa into a bowl. She went into the living setting the dips, sodas and a bag of chips on the coffee table before setting up the movie. She turned out the lights and sat on the couch, a few inches separating her from Bucky.  
When Ghostbusters was over she looked to Bucky.  
“So?”  
“That was… awesome,” he smiled.  
“Yes! I hoped you would like it. But you haven’t seen anything yet. Ghostbusters is from the eighties but the other movies I mentioned, besides the earlier Star Wars ones, are a bit more recent.”  
“I can’t wait,” he said, chuckling.  
He looked at her. The last time he had a day like this was just before the war. He never expected that in a matter of days he would have a place to stay, a person to talk to who wasn’t afraid of him and who made him forget. When they were dancing back at the shop he completely forgot about being the winter soldier. He was just with a sweet girl, dancing and having a grand time. He was Bucky Barnes again.  
“How about another movie?”  
“Huh?” he said, lost in his thoughts.  
“Do you want to watch another movie?”  
“Sure.”  
After putting in another movie she settled back down on the couch.  
“Twilight?” he asked as it started.  
“Yup, I’d like to get your opinion on it.”  
He just nodded and turned his attention back to the screen.  
When the movie ended she turned to face him again.  
“So?”  
“Well, um vampires. Why does he sparkle?”  
She tilted her head back, laughing.  
“What did you think?” she asked.  
“Well it’s no Ghostbusters but I get it.”  
“Get what?”  
“Why he avoided her at first. Why he talked about leaving at the end. He knows he’s not good for her. He’s dangerous. He could hurt her. He’s bad for her.”  
“Yes, but he loves her and she loves him.”  
“Yes but if he really loved her he would leave her, for her protection. She’d be better, safer away from him.”  
“Yes, but if you love someone that much can you really stay away from them?”  
“I believe you could.”  
She smiled before getting up and putting in the next movie in the saga. When it was over she yawned and stretched.  
“Okay so now what do you think?” she inquired.  
“Really werewolves too? It’s all a bit ridiculous isn’t it?”  
She laughed. “Well you’re definitely not the only person to think that.”  
“What,” she said, seeing that he was lost in thought.  
“He did what I would have done.”  
“You mean leaving her for her own good,” she stated.  
He nodded. “I don’t think I would have lied to her like that though. I would have told her the real reason for leaving. Then maybe she wouldn’t have been doing all of those dangerous stunts.”  
Kenzie nodded. “But they ended up together anyway.”  
“They can’t live without each other,” he said matter-of-factly.  
“Exactly, they’re soul mates.”  
He snorted.  
“What you don’t believe in soul mates?”  
“Do you?”  
“It’s a romantic notion but…” she trailed off.  
He nodded in understanding.  
She got up from the couch and took the empty bowls and soda cans to the kitchen. He got up and followed her. When she turned around after putting the bowls in the dishwasher he was staring at her from the doorway.  
“What?” she asked nervously. She took the almost empty bag of tortilla chips and folded it down, fidgeting. She wasn’t sure why he was staring at her like that but it was making her uncomfortable.  
“Goodnight,” she said, moving to go to her room.  
As she was about to pass him he gently placed a hand on her waist and pulled her against him. She stared at him, her eyes betraying her and looking at his lips. She looked him in the eyes and he pressed his lips to hers.  
She closed her eyes. His lips were hot and soft and the way his stubble scratched her made her shiver. She flung her arms around his neck and pressed against him. He backed her against the counter, his hands digging into her hips. She let out a squeak when his metal hand squeezed too hard.  
He jumped away from her like she’d struck him.  
“I’m sorry. That was a mistake,” he apologized, looking at his metal hand which was balled into a fist.  
She just went to her room.  
After a shower she crawled under the covers and put in her ear buds, listening to music.  
What the hell just happened!? This was not good! They knew each other for two days! Ugh! But it felt so right. She actually got shivers from their kiss. That was new, no that was something that happened in movies and books. But it had just happened.  
She closed her eyes and realized she could smell him on her. He smelled like original Old Spice, citrus and something she couldn’t quite place, something between musk and woods. Gosh he smelled good and he was a good kisser.  
“Ugh!” she groaned rolling over on her side.


	6. Chapter 5 Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist:  
> Alice Englert-Needle and Thread  
> Billie Holiday-You Go To My Head  
> Amadou & Mariam & The Magic Numbers-All I Believe In  
> REO Speedwagon-Can’t Fight This Feeling  
> Christina Perri-I Believe

By Friday they had barely spoken a word to each other unless it was for work, although she did cut his hair. It was back to the way it looked before he was the Winter Soldier. He looked like the old Bucky although he knew a haircut couldn’t change who he was now.  
Friday morning was the grand opening of her store and boy was it busy. Kenzie held interviews on Wednesday hiring someone to help work the cash register and two more to help with stocking shelves and inventory.  
One of the people she hired, Jessica, was seriously starting to get on her nerves. Just before opening that morning she walked back to her office and saw Jessica pressed up against Bucky, flirting with him.  
She cleared her throat.  
Bucky looked like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, although he hadn’t been the one flirting. The poor thing didn’t want to be rude but this girl was feisty and when he tried to move she pressed him up against the wall just as Kenzie showed up. Jessica smiled sweetly at Kenzie, stepping away from Bucky.  
“Miss Clare? Did you need something?” she asked.  
“Yes, we open in ten minutes and there’s already a line outside. I need you up front with Lindsay please.”  
“Yes ma’am,” she said leaving but not before winking at Bucky.  
Kenzie just went in to her office not looking at Bucky. She cursed the jealousy she felt. Why was she jealous? He wasn’t hers.  
She decided to push her thoughts about Bucky from her mind. She had a store to run.  
~O.o~  
When Kenzie opened the door to her house that evening all she wanted to do was shower and go to bed. Damn she was tired. It was a busy day at her store, which she was happy about.  
She yelped and jumped back, smacking into Bucky when she saw a man wearing all black as well as a black eye patch over his left eye. Bucky pulled her behind him, immediately in a defensive stance.  
“Bucky it’s okay.”  
Kenzie turned to see a blond, blue-eyed muscular man standing to her right.  
“Steve?” Bucky asked.  
“Steve? Steve Rogers?” Kenzie asked still staring at him.  
He nodded before moving closer. Bucky moved so Kenzie was blocked from both Fury and Steve.  
“We’re not here to hurt anyone,” Fury said standing up. “We’re here to talk.”  
“About what?” Bucky asked, although he had a pretty good idea.  
“You know what,” Fury said crossing his arms. “We need to take you in.”  
“No!” Kenzie yelled, moving from behind Bucky. “You can’t. I won’t let you.”  
Fury looked annoyed while Steve just looked between her and Bucky. One side of his mouth quirked up.  
“Um, I’m…”  
Fury cut her off. “We know who you are.”  
Of course, she thought.  
“Look Bucky, you killed a lot of people,” Steve said.  
“Damn near almost killed me,” Fury said.  
“He didn’t mean to. He didn’t know what he was doing,” Kenzie said coming to his defense. “It’s not his fault.”  
“We know but he’s still dangerous,” Steve said.  
“No he’s not. Do you really think taking him into custody will really be beneficial for him?”  
Steve looked at his feet then to Fury. “I agree with her. You know how I feel about this.” Steve was against bringing Bucky in. It’s not like S.H.I.E.L.D. was even operational anymore.  
“I am well aware of your feelings about this Captain Rogers but protocol…”  
“Forget protocol, S.H.I.E.L.D. has been compromised. I say we need to hide him, if Hydra finds him who knows what they’ll do.”  
“That’s why I’m here, hiding,” Bucky said.  
“Bucky, you can’t stay here. You’ve already put Miss Clare’s safety at risk. We’ll probably have to hide her too,” Steve said.  
“No. She has a life here. I won’t let you take that from her. I can protect her if I’m here with her.”  
Steve and Fury exchanged a look.  
“Are you kidding me? Are you two having sex?” Fury asked.  
At that Kenzie, Bucky and Steve blushed.  
“No we’re not. We’re just friends,” Bucky said.  
“Please let me stay here. I…” Bucky trailed off, looking at Kenzie.  
“Continue,” Fury said motioning with his hand.  
“I’m happy here. I’m doing okay here.”  
Kenzie smiled at that.  
“Okay? You’re doing okay here? I don’t care if you’re doing okay here. You cannot and will not stay here,” Fury fumed.  
“Fury.”  
“What Rogers?”  
“Maybe we should let him stay, keep an eye on him, check on him. If his behavior becomes a danger then we’ll make him come with us. This is probably best for him. Do you really want to bring him into S.H.I.E.L.D. and possibly doing missions if he’s unstable?”  
Fury looked absolutely furious but damn it if Steve wasn’t right. Fury had enough stuff to deal with at the moment.  
“Fine. He can stay. But we’ll have regular visits and we’ll be monitoring you. Both of you,” Fury shot a look at Kenzie.  
She nodded.  
“One slip up, one, and I send my men in. Got it?”  
“Crystal clear,” Bucky said.  
“Rogers, we’re leaving,” Fury said before heading to the door.  
Steve hesitated. “It’s good to see you Bucky. You look like you’re doing well here. I’ll come by later this week, nice to meet you Miss. Clare.”  
Bucky and Kenzie nodded and Steve followed Fury out.  
Kenzie let out a breath and turned to face Bucky.  
“Are you alright?” he asked her, his voice full of concern.  
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. How are you?” she said, biting her lip in worry.  
“I’m alright. I just wasn’t expecting to see Steve.”  
Kenzie nodded.  
“Bucky we need to talk about the other night.” As awkward as it might be to talk about it she couldn’t stop thinking about it.  
“What is there to talk about?” Bucky asked not even looking at her.  
“You know what.” She wasn’t going to let him get out of this. He kissed her after all.  
“It was a mistake,” he said quietly.  
“Do you really feel that way?” Kenzie gently turned his face towards her. His blue eyes met hers and they were filled with uncertainty.  
“Don’t you?”  
“Well I did at first but I just, it’s just, that kiss…”  
“You can’t stop thinking about it.”  
“Yes! And when I saw you and Jessica I felt like I was back in high school. I wanted to rip my own employee’s hair out!” She covered her face with her hands.  
Bucky laughed.  
“It’s not funny!” she said looking back to him.  
He quit laughing. “You can’t…we can’t be anything. It’s too dangerous.” This time when their eyes met his showed a sort of hopelessness and it damn near broke her heart.  
She took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to let himself be happy or have what he wanted because he felt like he didn’t deserve it. She was going to show him how wrong he was.  
“Oh don’t Edward Cullen me James Buchanan Barnes. I know what this is. You’re not the Winter Soldier anymore. That’s not you and it never was. How do you expect to move on if…”  
Bucky quirked a brow at her, oh how she loved when he did that.  
She shook her head and sat down on the couch.  
“I know how you feel. You’re scared.”  
“Yes, of hurting you and you deserve better than a broken soldier.”  
She jumped up. “And you don’t think that I think you deserve better than me!?”  
“What?”  
“I told you about my past.”  
“That’s different. He hurt you, that wasn’t your fault.”  
“Ugh! That’s what I’m trying to tell you! It’s the same thing with Hydra! None of that was your fault! You were just a man trapped in a weapon! You were Hydras puppet but guess what? Your strings have been cut!”  
“It’s not the same!”   
“No but it’s not all that different either! Damn it Bucky!” She started crying and wiped at her eyes quickly, suddenly feeling very small. “You can’t honestly stand here and tell me you don’t feel anything, that you truly believe you don’t deserve a chance at,” she waved a hand between them. “whatever this is.”  
He sighed. “No, I can’t but…”  
“Don’t, don’t give me that you’re too dangerous junk. Please.”  
“How can I not! I have nightmares Kenzie! What if I go back into my brainwashed state and kill you!”  
“That could happen whether or not we’re together and you know it! It’s just an excuse!”  
Oh damn it all! Before anything else was said he pulled her to him, his lips crashing against hers. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He wanted her, no needed her. She’d been the first source of happiness he had since he got away from Hydra and as hard as it was for him to believe it, she wanted him.  
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself into him as much as she could.  
His lips parted in a groan when she pressed against him and she slipped her tongue into his mouth. His hands were on her waist. This time he was careful with his metal arm.  
He moved his kisses to her neck and she gasped. He scooped her up bridal style and carried her into her bedroom.  
She unbuttoned his over shirt and pushed it down his shoulders as he carried her. He laid her on the bed and pulled the rest of his shirt off. She sat up on her knees as he got on the bed and moved towards her. He pulled her in for another kiss before taking her shirt off and flinging it away from them.  
She kissed along his neck and collarbone, reaching her hands up under his undershirt. Bucky shivered at the contact as she slid her hands up his chest, bringing his shirt up. She pulled it up and as soon as it was over his head his lips found hers again.  
He gently pushed her down onto the bed and climbed on top of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck again pulling his face back down to hers, aching to feel his skin against hers.  
He pulled back to look at her. “Are you sure?”  
“Absolutely,” she said desire burning in her eyes.  
“Kenzie.”  
“If you’re not sure then we can stop, it’s okay Bucky,” she said, caressing his cheek.  
He looked her in the eyes for a minute before crashing his lips back down on her already swollen lips. He kissed her on her nose, her eyelids, her temples and her chin before moving down to her neck.  
He reached underneath her back and unclasped her bra, slowly pulling her straps down her arms as he kissed her shoulder. Her hands fisted in his hair as he took her bra off completely and his tongue flicked across a nipple. She hissed as he played with her other nipple between his fingers arousing her further.  
She ran her hands from his hair to his shoulders and ground up against him. The sensation caused him to bite the nipple that was in his mouth and she gasped. He moved back up, his tongue making its way back into her mouth as a hand reached down to her center and rubbed her outside of her jeans. She moaned and bucked against his hand.  
“Bucky…please.”  
She reached down and rubbed him through his own jeans. He hissed and undid her jeans, moving lower on the bed to pull them off. He could see her panties were soaked and he licked his lips. He pulled one of her legs up and kissed up her leg, over her knee and down the inside of her thigh. She lifted up so he could slide her panties off.  
He hovered over her again, kissing her as his finger played with her clit. Her nails dug into his shoulders. “Bucky. Please, I want, I need you. Please,” she begged reaching down to undo his jeans. He stood up and took them and his boxers off.  
She leaned up on her elbows and looked at him. She pushed up and crawled on the bed towards where he was standing near the end. When she reached him, she took his cock in her hand and ran her tongue over the tip, earning a gasp from him. She slowly straightened up kissing up his chest before kissing along the seam where his metal arm was attached before kissing a scar on his other shoulder. She put her hands on either side of his face and looked at him lovingly.  
“You’re beautiful,” she told him.  
“No. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”  
“James,” she said, kissing along his neck now. She rarely used his real name and it seemed to turn him on more.  
At that he gently pushed her back on the bed, climbing on top of her. As he hovered over her he looked at her. She really was beautiful, her bright violet eyes and freckles, her smile and the sound of her laugh. He reveled in the feel of her soft skin against his and he wanted nothing more than to pleasure her, to be inside her and make her scream his name.  
Looking at her, he forgot all about the Winter Soldier, Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D. He was once again just Bucky Barnes. He wanted to make her feel the same, to forget about the bastard that hurt her.  
She wrapped her legs around his waist as he slid into her, both moaning at the feel of the other. He slid in easily but waited a second, giving her a minute to get used to him as he kissed her. She moved her hips against him, signaling him to move. He pulled out almost completely and slowly slid back in. He continued at a slow pace, driving Kenzie insane. It wasn’t without effort; he was holding back and beads of sweat were now rolling down his chest.  
She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him. “Faster,” she breathed into his ear.  
He sped up, pumping in and out of her. He pulled her nipple between his teeth and reached a hand down to rub against her clit. She moaned his name and moved her hips up to meet his, taking him deeper, her own body glistening with sweat. She spotted a bead of sweat rolling down his chest and she leaned up, licking it from his chest. He groaned and gently pushed her back down, speeding up.  
“Bucky,” she breathed out. The sound of their skin smacking together with each thrust was pushing them both closer to the edge. He sped up even faster, his hands fisting in the sheets on either side of her head as she dug her nails into his sides.  
“Scream my name, my first name, like you said before,” he said quickly and breathlessly.  
“James!!” she cried out as she climaxed.  
Her screaming his name and the feeling of her walls quivering and squeezing around his cock undid him and he moaned out her name as he came inside of her, slowing his pace as he rode out his climax. He leaned down and kissed her deeply before pulling out of her and collapsing next to her on the bed. She turned on her side and faced him and he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to him. She nuzzled against his chest and he kissed the top of her head. They both drifted off to slip, both of them more blissful than they had been for a while.


	7. Chapter 6 You Have a Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist:  
> Bury Your Dead-Hurting Not Helping  
> Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-Your Guardian Angel

When Kenzie woke up the next morning she expected to find Bucky lying next to her but he wasn’t. She stretched, figuring he was in the kitchen, already up. She wrapped a sheet around her and went to find him.  
He was sitting at the kitchen table fully dressed, reading the paper.  
She went up to him and behind him, being sure he saw her first so she wouldn’t startle him.  
“Morning,” she said resting her chin on his shoulder.  
He didn’t say anything but he moved and brushed her off him.  
She frowned. “What’s wrong?”  
He couldn’t even look at her. “Last night was a mistake.”  
Kenzie stood there, rooted on the spot. She couldn’t believe this. She thought they got past this, last night was proof.  
“You shouldn’t have had sex me if you were going to regret it the next morning,” she said softly. “I…I can’t believe you.”  
She padded off to her room and shut her door, locking it.  
She got into the shower letting the hot water soothe her, although it wasn’t working. She started crying. Damn it! she thought. What’s with all the crying! How could he do this, sleep with her and then say it was a mistake. Did he really not feel anything for her? Was he just trying to get her into bed? Ugh, damn it. She was so confused. But she had to pull it together, she had to work today and she wasn’t going to let him affect her mood.  
After her shower she changed into a pair of dark skinny jeans, a white V-neck tee and black flats, putting her hair up in a bun.  
When she left her room Bucky was sitting on the couch watching the news. She didn’t even glance at him as she walked to the kitchen. She sat at the table eating cereal and reading a new young adult novel.  
~O.o~  
That night after another long day at her shop Kenzie was in bed finishing up the novel from that morning when she heard a crash. She jumped up, running across her room and flinging her door open.  
“Bucky!?” she called out.  
When she entered the living room he was standing on the couch, a vase broken and shattered on the floor.  
“Bucky what’s going on?”  
He jumped down from the couch and she cringed seeing his bare feet hit the shattered glass. She immediately saw blood.  
“Bucky?” she was worried, really worried. Something was seriously wrong.  
He walked towards her leaving bloody footprints.  
“Bucky, stop,” she held a hand out, not knowing what to do.  
He grabbed her outstretched hand and pulled it towards him hard. She screamed as her wrist dislocated. He grabbed her arms and lifted her up.  
“Where’s Captain America?” he asked. His eyes were cold and glassy, they looked absolutely empty.  
No this couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t have reverted to his brainwashed state!  
“I don’t know. Bucky please, this isn’t you, you have to fight it.”  
“Who’s Bucky?”  
Tears streamed down her face, both from the pain in her wrist and from what was happening.  
“You are! You’re James Buchanan Barnes!”  
He threw her across the room and started walking to the door. Kenzie groaned when she stood up, grabbing her side. She couldn’t let him leave. If he left he could hurt someone else and Fury would have men on him in an instant. There was no way she was letting that happen.  
She ran forward and jumped on his back. He staggered a bit but pulled her off and threw her like she was nothing but a kitten.  
She groaned in pain as she hit a wall, knocking a painting off that fell on top of her.  
“Bucky stop!” she yelled.  
How the hell was she going to get through to him!? It’s not like she could kiss him and break the spell!  
Well it was worth a shot, she didn’t know what else to do.  
She pulled herself up ignoring the pain in her ribs.  
“Wait. I know where Captain America is!”  
He turned around and walked back to her.  
“Where?”  
She stepped closer to him. “There are cameras everywhere. I have to whisper it,” she lied.  
He nodded and her insides screamed in joy that he believed her. She stepped forward but instead of moving to his ear she placed her lips against his, holding his face in her hands. More tears fell when he responded, kissing her back. She broke away and looked up at him.  
“Bucky? James?” she asked softly, fear still in her voice.  
“Kenzie? Why are you crying?”  
“Oh Bucky!” she flung her arms around him and sobbed.  
He saw the room over her shoulder, the painting knocked down, the glass and blood. He pulled her arms from around him.  
“What happened?”  
“You…you went all Winter Soldier for a minute.”  
His eyes looked like saucers. “What? Did I hurt you? What did I say?”  
“You didn’t mean to. It wasn’t your fault. You asked where Captain America was. You were going to leave but I couldn’t let you.”  
“Mackenzie what did I do to you?”  
She bit her lip and looked away, wiping her face.  
He put a hand on the side of her face and turned her face to look at him. “What did I do to you?”  
“Um, well I’m pretty sure you dislocated my wrist.” She held it up to him. It was already swelling and looked deformed.  
“What else?”  
“Well you threw me across the room. Twice.” His face paled.  
“How badly are you hurt?”  
“I may have a broken rib or two.”  
“We need to get you to a hospital. Now.” He noticed how fast and shallow her breathing was.  
“No, I mean you can’t go. You can’t hide there. I’ll go I can drive.”  
“And what will you tell them?”  
“That, that I was in an accident.”  
“Mackenzie…”  
She cut him off. “It’s okay. Besides I’m not going anywhere until I know you’re okay.”  
“Me? Why are you worried about me? You’ve got to get to the hospital, now.”  
~O.o~  
It turned out that Kenzie had two fractured ribs and she did have a dislocated wrist along with a wrist fracture as well as a few bruises. They held her at the hospital for a few days to monitor her and she had Lauren, one of the first employees she hired, running the store.  
The day she got home she found that Bucky had cleaned up all the glass and got rid of the rug.  
She sat on the couch, doing her best not to wince if she felt pain when she moved, although she wasn’t fooling Bucky.  
“We need to talk,” Kenzie said when he handed her a glass of milk.  
“Yes we do. I told you I could hurt you. I’m sorry I’ve brought you in to this mess. I’ve put you in danger.”  
“Bucky.” She moved so she was next to him on the couch. She placed a hand on his cheek. “I agreed remember? I forgive you. You weren’t yourself.”  
He sighed. “This is why I said having sex was a mistake. We’re getting too close.”  
“So? Are you really just going to go through life alone? I’ve been through stuff too but I haven’t given up. I didn’t think I would find someone so soon but then you showed up and it just happened and I’m happy Bucky. I’m happy with you.”  
“How can you say that when you’re wrapped in bandages?”  
“Damn it Bucky, I know you’re scared, I am too but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that hold me back from loving you.”  
His eyes went wide. “Love? You mean you love me?”  
No, no, no. She couldn’t love him. He wasn’t the kind of guy you loved.  
She moved so she was in his lap. “Yes James Buchanan Barnes. I love you. I Mackenzie Clare am in love with you.”  
Bucky buried his face in her neck and held her to him. She gasped in pain and he stiffened.  
“I’m okay. You know one of my favorite quotes is “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you.” She poked his nose at the old man bit.  
“Is the old man part really in the quote?” he asked.  
She laughed before nodding. “Yes, it is. It’s quite fitting don’t you think, I mean seeing as you really are a lot older than me.”  
“Well what can I say? I age well.”  
Kenzie laughed.  
“So where do we stand exactly?” she asked.  
He couldn’t say he loved her back, he honestly had never been in love and what he had done to her wasn’t love. He had been sick to his stomach after it happened. She left her phone with him so she could keep him updated but she dared him to visit her. It was okay when he worked in the backroom, but to come out to the hospital was way too dangerous.  
“I think it’s safe to say that we care about each other. But…”  
“I know you can’t say it back. That’s okay, I understand.”  
He just closed his eyes and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. They sat like that in silence for a while, listening to each other’s heartbeat and breathing. She readjusted on his lap and groaned in pain.  
“Do you need your pain medicine?” he asked.  
She nodded. He gently moved her off his lap and got her pill for her.  
“I think I’m going to go to bed. This medicine will knock me out anyway.”  
Without saying anything he carefully picked her up in his arms and carried her to her room. After he laid her down, he kicked off his own shoes and crawled into the bed next to her.  
Kenzie cuddled into his chest as he ran a hand through her hair. The sound of his breathing and the sensation of his hands in her hair coupled with the pain meds quickly put her to sleep.


	8. Chapter 7 Dinner and Deceit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist:  
> Antony and the Johnsons-Angel On Fire

A week passed and things were going smoothly. They worked at the store from open to close and most nights they watched movies.  
One of those nights they were on the couch eating Chinese take-out and watching the first Lord of the Rings.  
“This is amazing. So that little Hobbit, Frodo, he’s going to take the ring to…?” he looked to her.  
“Mordor.”  
“Mordor, right.”  
After the movie Bucky stretched and pulled Kenzie into his lap.  
“Wow that was really great. It looked so real. Way better than any movies from my time.”  
Kenzie laughed. “Okay, so who’s your favorite character so far?”  
“Sam.”  
“Well that was fast. Why?”  
“Well he’s a good friend to Frodo. He’s loyal and he’s got his back. I mean there was no way he was letting Frodo go on that journey without him but not because he wanted to go but because he wanted to make sure his friend would be safe.”  
Kenzie smiled.  
“What?”  
“Kind of like you and Steve Rogers?”  
Bucky told her about all that happened leading up to his fall.  
“Yeah I guess you can say that,” he had a sad look in his eyes. “To the end of the line,” he mumbled.  
“Hmmm?”  
“Nothing. That was a long movie though.”  
“Yeah,” she yawned.  
“I think it’s time for bed,” Bucky said and Kenzie nodded.  
Kenzie woke the next morning cuddled into Bucky’s side. She rolled over and rubbed her eyes.  
“Morning.”  
She rolled back over to face him. She smiled. “Morning.” She maneuvered so she was resting on his chest. “So what do you think about inviting Steve over for dinner?”  
Bucky thought for a moment. “I think that’s a good idea. We really need to talk.”  
“Okay. Then it’s settled. I’ll call Steve and go buy some food for tonight. You think you can help man the shop today?”  
“I’ve been doing a pretty good job so far.”  
She laughed. “Okay so what should we cook tonight?”  
“How about steak with potatoes?”  
“Sounds good.”  
She kissed him before getting out of bed. He watched as she changed and ran a brush through her hair. She hid any pain she felt well, not wanting him to see it. He sat up and she walked towards him after stepping into her flats. He pulled her to him and kissed her for a third time.  
“You better get going Barnes. You have to unlock the shop remember?”  
He laughed. Yes Miss Clare, whatever you say.”  
“That’s right,” she chuckled.  
~O.o~  
That evening Bucky was grilling steaks while Kenzie microwaved the whole potatoes and prepared the salad. The oven beeped, signaling the peach pie was done just as the doorbell rang.  
“I’ll get the door,” Bucky said as he pulled the pie out using his metal arm and no oven mitt whatsoever.  
He came back with Steve at his side. The air in the room was a bit awkward.  
“Hi Steve. Thanks for coming,” She beamed at him.  
“No thank you Miss Clare for inviting me. I brought you these.” He handed her a bouquet of assorted flowers.  
She took them with a sincere smile. “Thank you Steve. These are beautiful.” She smelled them and took a vase from the counter and filled it with water, setting them in there.  
They sat around the kitchen table eating. It remained mostly silent and Bucky and Steve had yet to talk.  
“So Mackenzie what happened to your hand?” Steve asked.  
“Um,” she looked down.  
“Mackenzie it’s okay,” Bucky said.  
Steve looked between them and realization lit up his eyes. “Something happened. You went back to being the Winter Soldier,” he stated. He looked extremely worried.  
Kenzie immediately came to Bucky’s defense. “It didn’t last very long and I wasn’t hurt too badly.”  
“Kenzie…” Bucky didn’t feel the same, to him he felt like he almost killed her.  
“I had a dislocated and fractured wrist and two fractured ribs. But I’m fine.”  
Steve let out a deep breath. “I knew this would happen and so did Fury. It’s not safe for you to be around each other.”  
“It’s fine Steve,” Kenzie said.  
“No it’s not. Bucky hurting you, even though he wasn’t himself, isn’t good for either of you.”  
Steve excused himself to use the bathroom. He came back and took his seat.  
“Steve, please understand,” Bucky started but Steve cut him off.  
“I can see how much you two care about each other but Fury said one slip up and that’s it.”  
“What do you mean ‘that’s it?’” Kenzie asked although she had a feeling she knew what he meant.  
Kenzie reached for Bucky’s hand just as men wearing all black entered the house and came into the kitchen. Their weapons raised at Bucky.  
“Steve you didn’t,” Kenzie breathed, gripping Bucky’s arm now.  
“I’m sorry.” As he said it he looked at both of them each in turn and they could see that he was sincere. “But this is best.”  
Bucky was silent. He kissed Kenzie on the lips and removed her arm from his. He stood and nodded to Steve, motioning that he would go without a fight.  
Kenzie rose as the twenty plus agents surrounded Bucky and led him out. She walked behind Steve and watched as Bucky got in a black van.  
Bucky looked at her as the door shut.  
“I really am sorry Mackenzie,” Steve said.  
He stumbled back a step at the blow that came to his nose and was surprised to find it bleeding. She’d punched him and with a lot more force than he thought she was capable of. She slammed the door in his face. She was fuming and as she stood in the hallway she clutched her hand. It was already bruising and now she had two hurt hands but he deserved it.


	9. Chapter 8 The Blues Are Brewin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Wow long time without an update you guys with school I don’t have time to focus on all of my stories but here’s another chapter for you!  
> Disclaimer: I only own my OC.  
> Playlist:  
> Billie Holiday-The Blues Are Brewin’ and Good Morning Heartache

Chapter 8 The Blues Are Brewin’  
Two weeks passed before Steve came to Mackenzie’s house again.  
In the meantime she threw her energy into her store. She had no idea where they were keeping Bucky and she worried about him, how they were treating him, if they were sending him out on missions like Steve talked about weeks ago, if he was in isolation. She had a hard time going to sleep at night often waking up in the middle of the night expecting him to be lying next to her.  
Jessica was seriously getting on her nerves at work.  
“Miss Clare?”  
“Hmmm yes Jessica?” Kenzie looked up from her desk.  
“I haven’t seen Mr. Smith around lately? Did you two break up?”  
Kenzie narrowed her eyes at Jessica who was much too cheerful. “My personal life is none of your business Jessica. Please get back to work.”  
Jessica shrugged and flipped her ponytail off her shoulder. “Well just so you know if he comes around asking for my number no hard feelings right?” She smiled the fakest smile Kenzie had ever seen.  
“I’m not worried about that at all Jessica. He’s just taking some time off. Besides Mr. Smith isn’t the least bit interested in you. It’s my name he yells out in bed. Now if you would please get back to work.”  
Kenzie gave Jessica one of her own fake smiles. She laughed inwardly as Jessica’s face turned bright red and she huffed, turning on her heel and stomping off back to work.  
~O.o~  
It was Sunday morning when Kenzie heard a knock on her front door. Wearing sweatpants, a white tank and one of Bucky’s plaid flannel shirts Kenzie padded to the door.  
It was Steve. She had to fight the strong urge to slam the door in his face but he was there for a reason.  
She sighed and stepped aside. “Come in.”  
“Thank you Miss. Clare,” he said and entered watching her closely.  
She took a seat at the kitchen table and he followed suit.  
Steve spoke first. “Look Mackenzie I know what I did hurt you both. I know it’s not what either you or Bucky want but it’s for the best.”  
“Yeah you said that before.” She folded her arms across her chest.  
“I’ve come here to apologize for my abrupt actions but I couldn’t leave you in harm’s way.” He continued as Mackenzie opened her mouth to speak. “Please let me finish. Bucky told me everything that happened when he reverted to the Winter Soldier. I feel my actions were justified but I could have gone about it better.”  
“You think?”  
“I’ve also come here because Fury has allowed you clearance to visit Bucky if you wish.”  
Kenzie’s face lit up at the prospect of seeing Bucky.  
“I’ll escort you there now if you want.” He waited for her answer.  
“I’ll be ready in five.”  
She jumped up and ran to her room. Shutting the door she exchanged her sweatpants for skinny jeans and slipped on her scuffed up Chucks. She didn’t even think about anything else as she stepped back out of her room.  
“I’m ready.”  
The van they rode in the back of was blacked out so Mackenzie had no idea where they actually were. When Steve opened the door to let her out she could tell they were in an underground carport. Steve led them into the building and down a long hallway. Kenzie wrapped her arms around herself. The walls were grey and the building was cold. She didn’t like the idea of Bucky being here.  
Eventually they came to a stop outside a door where Steve held up a plastic card. A beeping sound was made and the door slid open.  
Steve motioned for her to enter. “I’ll be right outside.”  
Mackenzie nodded and entered.  
The room was nicer than she thought it would be. Not cold and grey like the rest of the place. The rooms were large and the walls were a soft green. He had a large comfy bed, a TV, a desk, dresser and his own bathroom. There were books stacked on a shelf next to the bed.  
Bucky sat up when she entered and placed the book he was reading down and jumped up. He pulled her to him, showering her face, hair and neck in kisses.  
Finally he pulled back. “Kenzie,” he breathed out looking at her as if he was trying to memorize her face.  
She placed her hands on either side of his face. “Bucky. I’ve missed you so much!”  
Bucky smiled and wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks away with his thumbs. “It’s okay Kenzie. I know you’re safer this way.”  
She shook her head in disagreement and rested her forehead against his chest.  
~O.o~  
“Whatever you are bothering me with better be good.”  
“We found the Winter Soldier sir.”  
The man snapped his head up.  
“And that’s not all. He’s been staying with a young girl.” The younger man set a file down on the desk. “A Miss Mackenzie Clare. Apparently they have grown quite close. Intimate even.”  
The older man smirked.  
“But there is one complication sir. There are some ex S.H.I.E.L.D. agents still fighting the good fight sir. They now have the Winter Soldier in their custody and we do not know where.”  
“And the girl?”  
“I do not think she knows it but they are keeping an eye out for her as well. A few agents have been stationed in homes around hers and her work to keep her safe.”  
“That should not be a problem. If this young lady and the soldier are close, as you say, then that is how we will get to him. Arrange some of our best men to get her and bring her here, immediately.” He looked extremely pleased.  
The young man nodded and left.


	10. Chapter 9 Til the End of the Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa! It’s been ages guys! After seeing Captain America: Civil War (the scene where Bucky smashes Nat into the table and she says, “You could at least recognize me” was filmed in the main building at my university last summer) I really got some inspiration and some drive to get back to working on this. So, here’s a new chapter, I hope you guys enjoy! And sorry for the long absence from this fic.
> 
> Playlist:  
> Aqualung & Lucy Schwartz-Cold

Bucky pulled Mackenzie onto his lap on the bed and began kissing her again, letting his lips linger over hers. He pressed a kiss behind her left ear and the scratch of his stubble made her giggle. Bucky pulled away and laughed as well. He was grinning from ear to ear just looking at her, at having her in his arms, getting faint whiffs of her favorite berry and rose scented perfume.  
“What are you looking at?” Mackenzie smiled at him, brushing his short hair back and running the pads of her fingers from the top of his ear to his earlobe, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder.  
“I am looking at the most precious thing I have ever held in my arms,” Bucky said, his eyes saddening as he looked at her.  
Kenzie blushed before leaning into him.  
Their hour long visit was almost over as Mackenzie lay next to Bucky on the bed, cradled comfortably into his right side.  
“When do you think you can come home?” Mackenzie asked, breaking the comfortable silence.  
Bucky smiled, liking that Mackenzie considered her place his home and he realized that he could certainly get used to that. But his smile faded. “It’s safest for you, for everyone, if I stay here.”  
“You can’t stay here forever.”  
Bucky sighed and sat up. “I’m dangerous. I already put you in the hospital.” He laughed a bitter half-laugh at the memory of seeing her bruised and battered after he’d become the Winter Soldier for a moment. He remembered all of it of course, tossing her around like she was nothing, jerking her wrist until it fractured, the fractured ribs. It made him sick, even more so when he knew how she’d been treated by her ex. He still couldn’t forgive himself for hurting her like that, but Mackenzie had reassured him she forgave him multiple times. He sighed and took one of Kenzie’s hands in his.  
“The guy standing outside that door, he-he used to look up to me I think. And now look at me. I forget more often than you think Mackenzie. There have been nights where I woke up in bed and had no idea who you were, where I was. I didn’t want to hurt you though, I mean I wasn’t The Soldier, I’d just draw a blank. I’d have to get up and walk around, sometimes leave the house for a while and get some air to remember.”  
Mackenzie moved so she was in his lap once again and placed her palms on either side of his face. His eyes looked haunted and heavy and she wanted to look away from what she saw in them. “I may not have known you all those years ago, but that guy that Steve looked up to is still in here. I’m sure I’ve seen him myself. That cocky grin you get when you beat me at chess, when you carry me to bed because I fall asleep reading on the sofa, your smile, and your laugh on those rare occasions that I can get one out of you. The Winter Soldier doesn’t regret all those things he did, but you do. They eat you up inside. I’ve seen it, the looks you get when you zone out sometimes and forget I’m there. The old Bucky, who you were before the war, is still here no matter how changed you are because of what HYDRA did. I know this all probably sounds ridiculously cheesy, but in a lot of ways you are still the same person you were before the war, before the Winter Soldier. You’re still brave, you still care about Steve, about others. You want to do the right thing, protect those around you. Steve knows that. I know that and we’re both here for you, no matter what and anytime you forget Steve and I will be here to help you find your way back.”  
“Til the end of the line.”  
Mackenzie gasped and turned to see Steve standing in the doorway. She got off Bucky’s lap and stood up, smiling as she smoothed down her clothes out of habit.  
“Times up,” Steve spoke again, moving into the room.  
Bucky, now standing as well, pulled Mackenzie into his arms and held her against him for a moment before kissing her cheek. “God I love you,” he said, a few tears escaping down his cheeks.  
“I love you too,” she said. She could feel the pinprick of tears and a tightening in her throat as she spoke, “Take care of yourself James. I’m going to visit you as often as I can.”  
Bucky nodded and smiled at her use of his first name.  
~O.o~  
That evening Kenzie was in the shower rinsing the conditioner from her hair when she heard a crash. Her eyes opened and her heart started to race. ‘Perhaps it was just Bucky?’ she thought as she turned the water off and moved the shower curtain aside to get a towel.  
With another loud crash the door to the bathroom swung open and several unfamiliar men entered. Two of them immediately went for her. She started screaming as they yanked her up and over the side of the tub. She fought back, their hands slipping on her soaked skin, but they did not let go as they carried her, feet off the ground, kicking and screaming through her house and out the front door. She was tossed roughly into the back of an all-black van and she cried out as she caught herself on her hands. She immediately pulled herself up and screamed out for Bucky, but before she could move or say anything else the same two men that had been carrying her climbed in and locked the doors. Kenzie instinctively crawled away from them into a corner where she curled herself up, trying her best to cover the most intimate parts of her body. She didn’t close her eyes though as she kept the two men in her peripheral while she tried to calm her breathing and her heart rate. These men were definitely not from S.H.I.E.L.D. But then…her eyes widened. HYDRA. Who else could it be? Bucky had warned her about this, told her all about them. And of course, because of the very man she loved, she knew exactly what they were capable of. She steeled herself then and there. If this was about HYDRA trying to get their Soldier back, she’d be damned if it was because of her. In that moment, as she recalled Bucky’s smiling face from just that morning, she knew she would take whatever they tried to do to her. She wouldn’t give in, no matter what. The last thing Bucky deserved was to be used as HYDRA’s puppet again. She wiped her eyes as she realized just how much she loved James Buchanan Barnes. She would die for him if it meant he could be free.  
~O.o~  
After only a short ride the van came to a stop. There was a knock on the door and the two men pulled her up and carried her out. They were on a tarmac and there was a sleek and menacing looking jet in front of her. The men hurried her onto it and once inside they continued to carry a screaming and unrelenting Kenzie through a corridor before stopping before a door. They tossed her inside and she landed on the cold floor. The door slid shut with a whoosh and locked. Kenzie looked around her to see a small cot. She stood up and went to sit down when the door opened again. A different man appeared and tossed some clothes onto the floor. In a flash he was gone again.  
Kenzie snatched up the garments and pulled on a pair of black underwear, black sweatpants and a black t-shirt. She moved back to the cot and pulled her feet up, resting her forehead on her knees. She let out a sob.  
~O.o~  
“Bucky?”  
Bucky jerked awake, eyes frantic, but he calmed when he saw it was only Steve standing next to his bed. “What is it?”  
“There’s something you need to see.”  
Anger coursed through Bucky’s veins like molten lava as he and Steve watched the video footage from the surveillance cameras that had been placed outside Kenzie’s home. Bucky watched as the men entered Kenzie’s home and re-emerged moments later with a very frightened, very naked, Kenzie in their bruising grip. He grit his teeth as he watched them toss her inside a van. But none of those things hit him like how she cried out his name in desperation before the two men climbed in after her. His metal hand nearly tore the armrest off the chair he was sitting in but Steve’s voice from beside him calmed him a little.  
“We’ll get her back Buck.”  
Bucky rose from his chair and stormed out of the room.  
Steve followed, keeping pace with Bucky. “Where are you going?”  
“I’m leaving.”  
Steve moved in front of Bucky to stop him and he didn’t miss Bucky withholding the impulse to grab Steve and force him out of the way. “We can’t just go after her with no plan, not knowing where they’ve taken her. She’s probably not even in the country anymore.”  
“I knew this would happen.”  
“How could you?”  
“Because I’m me!” Bucky roared, causing Steve to take a step back as he put his metal fist through the wall.  
“Buck-”  
“Don’t. I warned Mackenzie to stay away from me, to not get too close. I tried to not get close. I promised to protect her when I knew I couldn’t keep that promise.” Bucky looked at the new hole in the wall instead of at Steve and Steve found it hard to look at the sheer unhidden guilt on Bucky’s face.  
Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “We will get her back.”


End file.
